The Things You Do For Friends
by therealhermionegranger98
Summary: This is a slightly OOC Fanfic. Hermione and Ron are already dating, but when Ron leaves, Hermione finds comfort in Harry. They find out about Life Debts. What will happen next? H/Hr with a bit of Ron bashing and lots of swearing.
1. Chapter 1  Ron Piss off

**What you do For Friends**

**Authors Notes ****–**** This is from Hermione****'****s POV. It is set in the 7****th**** book, but Ron and Hermione are already dating (unfortunately). When he leaves, Hermione reflects on if the good things that he has done outweighs the bad (there are no good things about Ron, so I won****'****t even try to write them). She then thinks of Harry****'****s Good list and discovers that he has no bad. When Ron comes back ****…**** if you want to know what does happen, you will have to read the story. Or just skip through the chapters. Your choice. This fanfiction is slightly OOC (Out Of Character) ****–**** Hermione swears a lot, she writes in a diary, and thinks about what Harry is like in bed.**

**Please note ****–**_**Italics**_** are Hermione****'****s thoughts, **_**bold italics**_** are Harry's story/stories and ****underline**** is Hermione****'****s writing. Also, I apologise for the bad grammar and the spelling.**

CHAPTER 1 –

"So, are you coming?" Ron's hurt voice said. "Are you coming or staying?"

"Of course I'm staying! I promised to help Harry do this!" As soon as the words came out of my mouth, I regretted it.

As Ron stormed out of the tent, I got rid of my Shield Charm, and rushed after him.

"Ron! No! Where are you?" I cried out as I heard the distinctive 'whoosh' sound of apparition. _That stupid, pissy, bloody, fucking clown!_

Ronald Bilius Weasley always been on the verge of leaving us, but I didn't realise that he could just desert them at a time of need. During our search for horcruxes. Bloody fool, he was. A total bloody, motherfucking fool.

"Fuck him!" I screamed out angrily. I wanted to kick something. _Ron__'__s dick/groin area would be nice, but he has gone to God knows where._

"Hermione? Are you alright?" Harry's angry voice accompanied him storming out of the tent. "Did he hurt you?"

"Please, Harry, just leave me alone!" My voice was thick with unshed tears. _Why the hell am I shouting at him? He is my best friend. He wasn__'__t the one that left us behind. He was the kind, courageous one. Unlike some others that I could name very easily._

I went over the tent's kitchen table and got out a book – leather bound, rather old and very thick. _Ahhhhhhh. I love this book. I should really use it more often. The ribbed spine, glorious parchment __…_My fingers flicked through the pages until I found the one that I wanted. It was headed – Reasons Why I Hate Ronald Billius Weasley. 

Ronald Weasley, first year – he called me a nightmare, along with many other taunts and teasing.

Ronald Weasley, second year – he was frankly, a prat. He stood up for me when Draco "I'm so fucking wonderful" Malfoy, but he just didn't really want to be around me when I had been petrified.

Ronald Weasley, third year – he accused my cat of killing his idiotic rat.

Ronald Weasley, fourth year – he got really angry at me when Victor Krum asked me to the Yule Ball. 

Ronald Weasley, fifth year – honestly, he does too many mean things to me to even keep track of them. Bastard.

"I give up! I just fucking give up!" I whispered, whilst my tears fell onto the beautiful parchment, making the ink bleed. _What a waste. But I cannot stop crying, now that I have started._

Harry stood behind me and offered a tissue. I accepted it gratefully and he just sat next to me and held my hand as I stopped crying.

"Thanks, Harry." I croaked to him.

"That's alright, Hermione. I'll be here anytime you need me." Harry, forever loyal, responded. _He is such a Gryffindor. Waste of Air Weasley would have run and hid._

By this time, it was about three o'clock in the morning, so we decided to go to bed.

As I lay in the bottom bunk of our bed, I composed a list of Harry's Good Deeds –

_Harry James Potter, First Year __–__ He saved me from that fucking troll and he didn__'__t have to be asked to. Also, he was very supportive and listened to my ideas when we were finding the Philosopher__'__s Stone. He was wonderful. Unlike Ron, who HAD to be the hero, sacrificing himself. Bloody twit._

_Harry James Potter, Second Year __–__ He made sure that I hat everything for my homework when I had been turned into a cat by __"__The Polyjuice Potion__"__ incident. When I was petrified, he held my hand, found out and applied what I had found out about the Basilisk, thereby saving the whole school._

_Harry James Potter, Third Year __–__ He didn__'__t take sides, as such, when Ron and I were fighting about bloody Scabbers and my beloved Crookshanks, but still tried to make us make up about it. He freed Buckbeak, freed Sirius and __…__ there are too many good things about him. I should have really gone out with him when he asked me. I am rather unworthy of his friendship._

"Harry?" I asked, my voice kind of scared.

"Yes, Hermione?" Harry's voice responded from the top bunk.

"Can I sleep with you?" I asked, then realised how … wrong that sounded. _Oh, shit. He probably thinks that I want to do __"__it__"__ with him. Crap, crap, crap._

"What was that, Hermione? Sleeping? I really hope that it is sleeping …" Harry's voice trailed off at the end, and he laughed nervously - it was rather obvious that he was uncomfortable.

"Sleeping; just sleeping. Please, Harry!" My voice sounded rather petulant and whiny.

"Sure," he responded, "why not. Do you want me to come down?"

"Yes, please."

I started to cry a bit, and in an instant, Harry jumped down to my bunk and asked me what was wrong. Before I knew what was happening, he hugged me fiercely, and then, in that magic moment, I kissed him. It almost was entirely innocent, but when I deepened the kiss, he pulled away.

"But, I thought that you loved Ron …"

"I don't anymore. I wrote up a list," I interrupted, mumbling, "and I found out that Ronald was a total fucking prat to me all the time, especially when you were nice to me. I'm sorry that I kissed you. It's okay if you hate me, because I am sure that you think of me as a sister."

"I don't think of you like that – you are a wonderful friend." Harry told me in the faint light.

I got up and found my journal. Even though there words were rather wobbly and splotchy, it was still mildly legible.

"I agree with everything that you have said, Hermione." Harry said as he finished reading. "Ron has been a useless git for too many years. He told me not to ask you to go out with me."

"But when Ron asked me to go out with him, he said that you told him that he wouldn't like me as a girlfriend. I asked why and he mumbled 'He said that … umm, you would be too bossy, or something.'" I protested, still half-believing that Ron wouldn't do something like that. I felt the prick in my eyes that signalled tears were coming. _What a fucking git. Ron, not Harry._

Harry looked at me with his wonderful eyes – they seemed to glow, even in the semi-darkness of the tent. My eyes dried up instantly when I heard what he said next.

"I really liked kissing you, really, I did." Harry blushed when he said this. "Though, if you do want to do that again, perhaps we should … take things slow."

"I would like that." Now it was my turn for my cheeks to turn pink with embarrassment. _Ah, what the hell. I was falling for him anyway. Shit __…__ I never knew that. My mind has gone fucking around the bend. Must be the lack of Ron Useless Brain Weasley._

"Oh! Hermione, please drink this. I'll tell you what it is afterwards." Harry pulled out a vial with light blue liquid from his jeans pocket.

"I know what this is. Amorentia detector potion, right?" I said after I had drunk the liquid.

"Correct. Now, if you would just let me do this … " Harry waved his wand in a figure-eight motion, clearing incanting something that sounded like either French or Latin. "Oh." He said, his beautiful mouth forming a perfect 'o'. "Just as I thought."

"What? Please tell me! Has Ron been feeding me Amorentia?" My voice sounded slightly panicked, but inside, my logical self was saying – _Of course! That is why Ron was always insisting that I would have __"__that glass of juice, that dinner, that ice cream__"__. He was spiking it with bloody Amorentia. That__'__s why Molly __"__The Evil Matriarch__"__ Weasley (her name sound like one that a wrestling champion would have __…__) always was separating us, so Harry would be with Ginny, and I would be with Ron __…_

"Well, yes, Hermione." Harry said, sounding regretful. "All of the Weasleys' have been spiking your drinks, food, and toilet paper. You name it, they've done it. Sorry about the last bit – I still find myself utterly pissed at the Weasleys' for doing that. "

"Hang on! What about Mr. Weasley? He was always very nice! And toilet paper!" I turned into factual ranting mode. "Oh! Apparently, Amorentia from Burma doesn't have to only be administered orally. It can be poured on to handkerchiefs and toilet paper, and into suncream and moisturiser! I wonder how they procured it. Illegally, I imagine … Is that why I saw Ginny and Ron shagging? Fucking idiots. Have they never heard of a neutraliser potion?"

"I think that Mr. Weasley had no idea what was happening. And, Mrs. Weasley was talking to her "delightful"," Harry said sarcastically, raising his eyebrows. "offspring about getting Burmese Amorentia from the black market. None of the Weasleys' have been very good at potions, and, other than Percy, has never read any books that have not been assigned by teachers or employers. I mean, look at Ron. Where do you think he got his quarter-brain-cell from? I highly doubt it was Mr. Weasley. Mrs. Weasley might have pro-created with a … pig or something, for most of her children. Perhaps some form of primitive boar for Ron, and a love-sick piglet for Ginny."

I laughed at his last statement. It was a lovely feeling, enjoying a little ranting time with your best friend. It had been such a long time since I had done something like this. But, I still had one question – Did Harry think of me as 'just a best friend'? I knew that I certainly didn't anymore.

"Harry, can I ask you a slightly more personal question?" I said nervously, my eyebrows knitting together.

"Sure. Ask away."

"Why did you want to become my friend?"

"I can't really give you any … definite information, but I can tell you a story."

"My kindergarten teacher once told me that 'if you can't read between the lines, then you won't know what is wrong until it has passed.' Cheesy, I know, but it encouraged me to try to find out what was wrong with my friends. Who were either non-existent or imaginary, until you saved me from that turd-smelling troll."

Harry smiled weakly, and started to tell his story –

_**Well, when I was going on the Hogwarts Express for the first time, I felt really lost and scared. I knew that Ron only wanted to sit with me because I'm, well, me, not because there were any compartments that were empty. How did I know this, you might ask? Well, I wanted to get away from all of the people who were doing fish mouths at me, so I decided to go the back of the train. I passed probably ten to fifteen empty compartments that a first-year, like Ron could have sat in. Instead, he followed me, barged in on my reading – yes, Hermione, I was reading 'Hogwarts, A History' - and grabbed a few Chocolate Frogs and introduced himself through a mouthful of sweets – "Hey, I'm Ron Weasley. Do you know me? I know you, of course. You're Harry Potter. Do you want to be my best friend? I expect that you do. Of course, I know everyone, everywhere". To me, he sounded like a useless slug, who only wanted to be my friend because of my money. Then, a very pretty young girl came to our compartment. I was still reading, and bloody Weasel was still stuffing his idiotic face. The girl that came in had bushy brown hair, beautiful brown eyes and slightly overlarge teeth. She asked me very politely if I had seen a toad, belonging to Neville Longbottom. I wanted to ask her to sit with us, but she seemed a bit aloof and far too pretty to warrant my company. I saw her again at the Sorting Ceremony. I thought that she would sorted into Ravenclaw, but instead she came over to the Gryffindor table. When I next saw her, she was running away from Ron, when he said something bloody stupid about her. After that, I was helping Ron to save her from a Mountain Troll.**_

"Harry, wait. You didn't only HELP save me from a Mountain Troll, you did it without anyone prompting you, or any help." I said, not wanting to interrupt the flow of the story.

"No, Ron helped me." Harry, every modest, responded.

"Yes, but who made me hide in the bathroom because of his fucking taunts and teasings? Ron. "

"Yeah, but he levitated the club the knock the bloody troll out."

"But, who decided to go into the bathroom, without any teachers? You. Who fearlessly leapt onto the back of a 15 foot troll without a second thought? You. Harry, I owe you. There is a debt between magical people, if the one of them saves the other's life. It's called a Life Debt. If you ask me to do one thing, I will be … forced, I suppose to do it." I told him, trying to find the correct words.

"So, if I ask you to do something, you will be compelled to do it?"

"Yes. But, can it be something … normal? Not jumping off a bridge or anything."

"My request is … can I have another kiss? Just tell me if you don't …"

Harry never got to finish his sentence. I suppose you can guess why.

I had … pounced on him, I suppose you could say. _Wow. This is better than I thought it could be. Harry should've really asked me to Yule Ball. Just because Ron couldn't be arsed …_

Harry had deepened the kiss – our tongues now started to perform an interesting tango – spicy and elegant.

Harry pulled away, gasping for air.

"_Wow._ That was … one … helluva … kiss." Harry panted loudly as he spoke.

"Yeah."

"Hermione, can I ask you a question?" Harry's voice was rather nervous.

"Sure."

"Do you … like me?"

"In which way?"

"You know, in … that way." There was an almost curious stress of the word 'that'.

"Yes. I do. You protect me, respect me. And you are a good kisser," I said, and then when I saw his blush, I said. "not that that matters. People are fortunate to fall in love with your best friend, who finishes your sentences."

"Really?"

"Yes, Harry, I do really like you."

"So do I."

With that, we fell asleep in each other's arms, very peacefully.

**A/N – Not a very long chapter, I know, but it seemed … appropriate to end it there. Again, I apologise for my odd grammar and spelling.  
>People make mistakes, etc.<br>Inspiration Song - Titanium - David Guetta ft. Sia - Excellent Song! **


	2. Chapter 2 Hello there!

CHAPTER 2 –

I didn't know where I was when I woke up, or who was beside me. I laid still for a while, so peacefully. _I could lay like this forever._

But, the forever part didn't happen, unfortunately. Harry woke up and we both blushed.

"I have a confession to make," I said to him. "I actually wanted to kiss you. I … am in love with you, Harry."

The sound Harry made was very un-manly. He leapt out of the bed and danced around the tent, saying "Yes! She … loves me! Yes!"

"Harry," I said cautiously. "What about Weasley? And were you not in love with Ginny?"

"What about him? He's gone! The waste of organs has left us! Finally." Harry's voice sounded really happy that his so called 'best mate' had left him. "Ginny? What about her? I broke up with her ages ago. I caught her dosing me with Amorentia. Modified her memory, broke up with her. I modified this Sneakoscope, so now it detects poisoning, Polyjuice, Amorentia and the normal Sneakoscope features. Oh, and Hermione? Would you please do me the honour of being my girlfriend? It would mean so much to me."

"Oh, yes! I would love to be your girlfriend, it would be wonderful! That modified Sneakoscope is really good, Harry! Can you show me, sometime? Please … Uh, Harry? Could you please get dressed?"

I hadn't noticed that Harry was only in a pair of overlarge boxers.

_Where did little Harry go? Ah, never mind. He looks less stick-thin now. I wonder how he got those muscles … Oh, so bronzed! How did he get like that … Lovely …_

_SHUT UP, MIND!_

"Sure. Sorry if I made you uncomfortable." Harry looked a bit ashamed.

_Awww. How cute! He is so chivalrous. I will really have to get that habit out of him. Being kind and chivalrous is nice, but if one apologises too much, it just seems weird._

"It's OK. If you want to prance around in your boxers, that's alright with me. But, only if I am out of the country. In Australia, maybe? Then, that would be fine." I said, laughing.

"OK, OK! Getting dressed right now!" Harry's voice was slightly muffled by the T-shirt that he was pulling on.

_I never realised what a great relationship we have. It's surprising that we have been friends for nearly eight years. Bloody Ron – feeding me Amorentia. Burmese Amorentia – on my toilet paper! Honestly! Fucking! Bloody! Weasley!_

"Hey, Hermione, do you want to go to another location today? I think that Ron knows where we are, and he'll be as mad as hell!" Harry's voice displayed urgency, and at the end, annoyance.

"Yes, I think we should." I replied. "Is there any place that you would like to go to?"

"Yes."

"And where exactly would that be? No, let me guess – Gringotts."

"Yes." Harry sounded quite surprised that I had guessed the location. "You know me better than I know myself."

"Knowing a person for nearly eight years does that to you." I said, ponderously. "So, why do you want to go to Gringotts?"

"Because," Harry said carefully, "I want to know my place in this world. Apparently, there is a Potter Family Ring, and a shit-load of other properties that I have, apparently."

"So, you want to go to Diagon Alley, which probably is the busiest location in the Wizarding World, to find out if you have a ring and a bunch of houses?" I said, just finding his request a bit odd, to say the least. _What the bloody hell is he trying to do, kill himself? That's even more stupid than Ron Tit Weasley. _

"So, if, or rather, when we go, we should be disguised …" Harry started, but I interrupted him by saying –

"Being disguised is a given, Harry. The real plan?"

"Right. Step 1 – Disguise. Step 2 – Find Griphook or Sharpaxe to find out what I have and how much 'influence' – meaning how much cash and properties I have to get us out of this pickle. Step 3 – Destroy the Horcruxes. We have all of Horcruxes, except for Nagnini and we have the Sword. Step 4 – Take over the Ministry and stop the fucking pureblood bigotry that is going on there. Step 5 – I dunno. Any ideas for Step 5, Hermione?"

"Step 5 -," I said, in a contemplative tone, "should be … to charge the Weasleys' for possession of illegal potions. Oh, and Step 6 should be that we investigate Dumbledore's past. See is he had any interesting things that we can dig up."

"Sounds like a plan!" Harry said joyously.

"Our disguise – Remus Lupin and Tonks? No, then they would become a target for Mouldywart's displeasure. We could go as the Weasleys'. You know – I could become Ginny and you could be Ron. It sounds disgusting, but we already have a big stock of Polyjuice and I am sure that there wouldn't be anything odd about two bits of orange hair floating around the countryside." One of Harry's eyebrows was raised at the statement that I made.

"Just one little request. If we absolutely must drink Essence of Weasley Polyjuice, can we wreak havoc on their 'wondrous' pureblood name?" Harry did the famous Potter-Puppy-Dog-Eyes and an adorably cute little pout as he drawled out the sentences.

"Oh, hell yes! Can I be caught shagging Ron … actually, no. Shagging! How could I have thought of that! All of that red hair, clown feet – it's disgusting! Well, I suppose we could steal their Gringotts key, and take every last Galleon, Knut and Sickle out of their account. No, that would be too mean. I feel really sick … Ron and Ginny … shagging …" Harry and I turned a delicate splotchy green, as I uttered the horrid phases. _Oh, poor Harry. He looks like he has been splattered with Troll mucus. _"Harry, Harry. HARRY!"  
>"Yes, Hermione? Did you really have to put the shagging image back into my head?" Harry was slouching in a chair, and he shuddered.<p>

"Um, sorry about that. Do you want me to do something to make you forget about them doing it?" I asked, all of my squeamishness about the Weasleys' gone.

"Definitely! Anything to get that horrible image out of my brain." Harry jumped up and handed me my wand.

"It doesn't require a wand, Harry. Come over here, and close your eyes." I was kind of nervous right now. _What happens if I take it too fast? What if he reacts badly? What if he is Ron Polyjuiced? What if … _I took a deep breath and stepped forward, until I could see all the freckles on his nose and his eyelashes. _Sooooo … fucking … long … does he use mascara …_

I kissed him, for the third time in about 12 hours. _Holy shit, how did he get so effing good at this? Did he 'practice' with Ginny?_

I lead him over to the bed, still kissing. As the kiss deepened, _Ickle Harry, _Harry's fifth appendage, started poking me in the thigh.

"Uh, Harry?"

"Yes, Hermione? Oh, I'm really sorry!" Harry squeaked (although manly, it was rather cute). Harry looked mildly scandalised at what his body had done.

"It's alright, Harry. Only natural, you know? Anyway, how did you get so good at kissing?" I actually really wanted to know this. _If he is this good at kissing, how good is he in bed? Did I just really think of that? Bloody hell …_

"Dudley," was Harry's response. "practiced kissing me when we were little. That fat … git apparently knew that he was gay, and was interested in incest. Needless to say, it scarred me for life."

"Can I just say one thing – that … is … disgusting!" I saw Harry's hurt look, and quickly apologised. "Sorry, Harry, but it is! Why didn't you tell someone? You could have gotten counselling! Did he do anything else like this to you? Tell me, Harry! This is really important!" I was highly scandalised that a fat oaf like Dudley could do something like this to Harry. _I swear, when this fucking war is over, I will fucking kill Dudley Dursley! If he has done anything else, I will shove my sharpened wand down his throat so far that it trims his toenails! Fucking prat. Ron and Dudley would go really well together! Both are useless prats, not even having a shred of bloody compassion! Basier vous! _

"Well, he did make me blow him … that smell, all of that … hair. But only once." Harry was so disgusted that he had bypassed normal colours. _Well, actually, the slightly orangey-green colour that he is turning is quite normal of Ron 'Son of the bitch' Weasley. Poor bloke – Harry, not Ron._

"Harry? Do you want to talk about it to me? I know that it may be hard, but, you will feel a lot better."

"Okay. I will. Actually, can we do this at a later date? I am feeling really nauseous." Harry was now a faintly glowing yellow colour as he shuddered out the last few sentences.

"That's okay. If you want to talk about it … you know who to ask …" I mumbled, feeling really awkward.

"Thanks, Hermione. Don't you think that it is strange, how a perfectly abnormal conversation can get so awkward so quickly?" Harry asked, looking totally embarrassed at my previous answer.

"Yeah. You know, I was just thinking about that myself. Odd, don't you think?" Maybe it was because Harry and I were best friends, but we could almost finish each other's sentences.

Before I knew what I was doing, I pounced on him again, kissing him passionately. Well, not literally pounced on him, because we had been both pacing the floor after our last kiss.

After … minutes, hours, days? What is time when you are kissing? We both came up for air.

"Hmm, hot damn! That was one awesome kiss!" Harry sounded a bit like Tonks … and then I realised that Tonks was in the tent with us.

"Tonks! What the fuck? What the HELL are you doing here? How did you bypass the wards?" Harry was freaking out … scary.

I grabbed my wand, and bound Tonks up, but only with thin ropes, whilst Harry got his modified Sneakoscope and waved it around her body.

After nearly five minutes, and much prodding of Tonks with the aforementioned Sneakoscope, and ignoring her protests, and surveying the said Sneakoscope's results, Harry told me to let her go.

"Hermione, it's alright, you can undo her now. Sorry, about that Tonks, but if one is battling a fucking Dark Lord, one can never be too careful." Harry's reply sounded very sincere, with the use of 'one' and 'Dark Lord'.

"Also, Harry, one can never be too paranoid, like you were being then." Tonks sounded rather annoyed at being bound. "But, bloody hell, Hermione, you are really good with those ropes. You would make an excellent dominatrix."

"What the hell, Tonks? You want to be … bound? What else?"

"Some casual tickling, whipping, the usual. I loved doing that with … Remus …" Tonks sounded really sad about Remus _… I wonder what happened between them …_

"Hey," Tonks asked, her voice still sounding a bit sad. "Where's Ron?"

"Erm … about that … He's gone. Like, really gone. Forever … I think. Or rather, forever, I most sincerely hope."

"Are you SERIOUS? Gone! That … thing is gone! Yes! Sorry about that …" Tonks sounded oddly happy about Ron leaving.

"Hey, Tonks, why are you so happy about Ron leaving? I mean, you can't hate him THAT much, can you?" I asked.

"Well, his mother, the bitch, wanted me to marry Bill, for what reason I don't know. Ron kept on bugging me about my relationship with … Remus, and he openly hated us. He kept on talking about how good Bill would look with me, and how I could change my appearance, so he could shag me without anyone knowing. I called him a fuckwit, and he ran crying to his mummy about how I had rejected him. He is such a twit, isn't he?" Tonks looked scarily like her aunt, Bellatrix, when she was talking about Ron crying to his mother. _How the hell does she do that? Shit, she could be a Muggle actress with that talent …_

"Are … you … serious? Ron seriously wanted you to bang him? He is such a fucktard!" The words were coming out of my mouth before I could stop them. "Sorry, Harry … I just couldn't help venting my anger, just a little bit, before Ron came back."

"Hang on, you think that Ron will, God forbid, come back? Ew. I don't want the dickwad back here!" Harry looked nearly apoplectic with the mere thought that Ron might be coming back.

"Uh, yeah. It states in the prophecy that there will be a 'Fabled Golden Trio'." I was clearly stating the logic behind the prophecy, but I didn't understand why he was being so difficult about it. _Actually, I can kind of see why he being like this. I don't want him back either._

"Hey!" Tonk's voice cut through my thoughts. "Does it actually say WHO will be in the so-called 'Fabled Golden Trio'? If not, anyone could come into the Trio. Hell, even 'Auntie Trixie' could be part of it if she really wanted to …"

"Erm." I said, "Well, no it doesn't say …" I didn't really want say that I was wrong, but I did.

"Hey, Tonks, if Ron isn't coming back, do you want to be part of our 'scavenger hunt'?" Harry asked his question carefully, as if he was frightened that Tonks would refuse, which I was sure that he wouldn't.

"Of course." Tonks said. "We're gunna have to do an Indiana Jones, aren't we?"

"Yeah. But I detest Indiana Jones. What about … Inspector Gadget, or Get Smart? Or ever Miss Marple or Hercule Poirot?" I didn't know a worse movie than Indiana Jones. Honestly, what a horrible movie …

"Who gives a fuck about some stupid movie? Let's get cracking! Hurry the fuck up! Tonks, do you know what a Horcrux is? If you do, tell us all that you know about them!" Harry looked so immersed in the thoughts of finding several new Horcruxes.

"Uh, yeah, I do know a bit. After all, I am half a Black. And an auror, and also I didn't fall asleep in History of Magic, Mr. Potter! Okay, Horcruxes. You do know that they are bits of torn off soul, don't you?" Receiving and affirmative answer, she continued. "Right. You destroy them by killing them, or damaging the thing that the Horcrux lives in. If you don't want to waste the time and energy of killing or destroying them, you can send them into the Horcrux Destroyers Service. You apparate over to their workshop, and then you pay about 100 galleons, depending on the size and level of Soul Power that there is in them, and then they destroy them. Simple as that."

"Are you fucking serious! There is a Horcrux Destroying Service and that complete fucktarding dickwad Dumblebeard didn't tell us? Are you fucking kidding me?" I started ranting and raving. To be honest, I scared myself with my outburst.

"So all we have to do is find the blasted Horcruxes and then apparate over to their workshop, and then they get rid of them for a minimum fee? That sounds great!" Harry crowed with joy at the mere idea of not having to destroy the bloody things.

"Hang on … what is Soul Power?" _OMG! New knowledge … am I drooling?_

"M'kay," Tonks said. "Everyone has a soul. Your soul can be either good or bad. Your Soul Power is the power that the soul exerts in manipulating their human. Voldiewart's Soul Power is very high, because he has no conscience or remorse, so his mind and body focus on his soul, which is very, very dark from being ripped apart so many times. Basically, in muggle terms, Voldieboy is a psychopath. I'm sure that you can imagine many horrible serial killers, put them all together, rip out most of their souls, give them a weird snake-like body, and there you have it! Voldiesnake!"

"Oh! I read a bit about them … Soul Power, I mean, not serial killers, although they are rather interesting. So does any one of us, here, have a high level of Soul Power?" I suddenly remembered a passage that I had read regarding Soul Power, but Tonks had expertly summarised it.

"Well, I haven't really talked about good Soul Power. If a person has good Soul Power, or, is wholly good and pure, they will be extremely powerful. Also, if people with good Soul Power duel or battle with a person that has bad Soul Power, they will win, unless they aren't armed. It is kind of a different branch of the Priori Incantatum. Harry, his parents and you have good Soul Power. Sirius was and I am on about the same level as you. How do I know, you might ask, Hermione?" Tonks said, just as I was about to open my mouth. "Well, some people can just sense it. It feels a bit like a gut feeling about who is good and who is bad, basically. Also, there is a spell that you can perform, or a ritual that gives people the permanent ability. Some people, as I said before, can just sense it, like me."

"So, what is the ritual that you have to do?" Harry asked.

"Well, it is a … Tantric Ritual." I said, really embarrassed.

"Huh?" was Harry's clearly mature and insightful answer.

"Tantric … Ritual …? Any of this ringing a bell Harry? TANTRIC? Well, duh, it's a sex act." Trust Tonks to clear up matters with the utmost clarity. And extracting the most exquisite amount of embarrassment.

"Erm, right. So, for example, if Hermione and I had … sex right now, and did the ritual correctly, we would be able to 'read' other people's Soul Power, right?"

Tonks and I nodded in unison.

"So, how is this ritual performed exactly?" Harry asked.

"Well, I have a book that I could lend you. It is full of rituals, most of them needing some form of sacrifice, usually blood, and some of them have a Tantric element in them." Tonks was already pulling out the book from her rucksack and handing it to me.

"Dear God, Tonks! You must be STARVING! Do you want something to eat? Well, we don't have much, but it's better than nothing …" Harry looked mortified when I mentioned the food that we had.

"Sure. I haven't had food for … nearly two days! Hell, I am starving!" Harry got Tonks some food, and she blanched at the smell. "Do you want me to help you there? I know that Hermione would probably have tried simply every spell there is, but you have layered them on too much. Putting one spell after another might be good in battle armour, on wards for houses, but on food, just don't!"

"Oh, I didn't know that … can you teach us?" Harry asked. "Anyway, do you want me to unpack your things for you? We can burn Ron's stuff, for all I care. Or maybe dump them in a vat of acid."

"We have a few spare trunks and drawers for you, because Ron ate most of our tinned food on the first three days of the Hunt. Harry, don't burn Ron's stuff, we can use it if we get cold, and then burn it to make ourselves hot tea or stew or something like that." I prided myself on being the most practical in most societies.

While Harry and I were putting Tonk's things away, she was working her magic (literally) on our food. First, she stripped away all of the charms surrounding the fish (roast pike, if you must know) until it was exactly how it was before I cooked it. Then, she cast a small _Incendio_ at it, until it was roasted perfectly. Then, from her bag, she got some herbs and gently sprinkled them over it. She finished it by casting a few salting, warming and long-life charms onto it.

"It's finished!" Tonks proclaimed.

"I think you've broken Harry, Tonks." I was quite true, he was drooling at the scent of the delicious fish. _Dear God, that smell absolutely smashing!_

"Meh. If he is 'broken' he won't be able to eat anything … I don't think that he would be broken anymore." Tonks said, rather mischievously.

Harry's head suddenly snapped up, and he almost ran to the chest of drawers that housed our cutlery (or lack thereof) and quickly set the table. He then ran over to the fish, and put some on each plate that was previously set out by Tonks, and he Levitated all of them onto the small table. Tonks and I, sensing his impatience, sat down quickly and tucked in.

"Bloody hell, Tonks!" Harry's voice sounded muffled because of the fish that was in it. "You could be a fucking chef! Your talent rivals Molly Weasley's!"

Tonks' only response was blushing furiously, but then we kept on eating.

During dinner, we bought Tonks up to speed about what was happening.

"So let me get this straight," Tonks said. "The Weasleys are, or were, feeding you Burmese Amorentia, which is as dangerous as the Draught of Living Death, a Class One Undesirable Substance, to get Ron to marry you. They were doing the same for Harry, but the Amorentia was keyed to Ginny. They didn't have a neutraliser potion, so you caught them …" Tonks gulped noisily. "… shagging."

"Correct." Harry said.

"Point number one – That is disgusting! They can't do that!" Tonks turned green.

"Well, it's a bit hard to stop them, because it was in the past." I said, failing to see Tonks' point of view.

"Yes, I know that you are correct, Hermione, but now I come to point number two. If there is a Marriage Contract between two people, and then one of the people performs incest knowingly and willingly, they Contract is void. The magic that binds the contract is rendered obsolete."

"How does this relate to us?" Harry sounded a bit worried about having a contract with any Weasley, after every single bad thing that they had done.

"Harry, this sounds like we are contracted to marry Ron and Ginny. If this is true, we can prove that they cannot marry us!" I shrieked.

**A/N – Another short chapter …. never mind. After I post this, I am going to create a Beta Profile, so if anyone wants me to be their Beta Reader, please find me and read my Beta Profile! Please note that I only do H/Hr Romance, Weasley and Dumbledore Bashing. I really hope that people will want me to be their reader!**


	3. Chapter 3 Random Author's Notes

RANDOM AUTHOR'S NOTES –

I know that most people really hate Author Note chapters in their stories, but this is kind of important.

If you don't have a Fanfiction account, and would like to read my story again, my new author name is therealhermionegranger98. If you have left me a recent comment in the last few days, I would have told you this. However, I sometimes put my new name as therealhermionegranger, with no 98 at the end.

Some more stories should be coming up soon. Here are the ones that I am working on –

A collection of random one-shots – what could have happened in the tent after Ron left. Pairings – H/Hr, H/Hr/Tonks, H/Hr/Luna, H/Hr/Luna/Tonks and few others. Major Ron bashing!

Hermione Granger is anorexic. This story will be H/Hr and lots of Ron Bashing! Don't worry, Hermione recovers eventually.

10 things I love about you, Harry to Hermione. Harry wants to be Hermione's boyfriend, but he doesn't know how to ask her out. So, he writes her a letter, telling her the top 10 things that he loves about her. H/Hr and Ron Bashing.

10 things I love about you, Hermione to Harry. The story is basically the same as 10 things I love about you, Harry to Hermione, but Hermione writes Harry a letter. H/Hr and Ron bashing.

10 things I love about you, Ron to Hermione. Ron only wants Hermione to uplift his status, so he writes her a letter, telling her the 10 things that he needs from her to uplift his fame. MAJOR Ron bashing, H/Hr.

Okay, I think that that is about it. Sorry for interrupting …

Thanks for reading my story, and I hope that you enjoy it! Comment, please!

Therealhermionegranger98

PS. I'm Beta-ing now, so if you need a story to be Beta'd, please let me know! I really enjoy editing stories, but I may be slow due to an issue ... I might be away for a while, because I am going on a Summer Vacation (yay!).


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